Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

A Fifth Force of Nature May Have Been Discovered Inside Atoms - ScienceAlert

I was tired of fighting.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I had run out of hope.

Judge Scolds Diddy for ‘Nodding Vigorously’ to the Jury, Threatens to Remove Him From Courtroom - Variety

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Why do heterosexual men like anal sex with women? I think it's because they secretly want to have anal sex with a man? What do you think?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s here now, writing to you.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Baseball Gameday: 5/31/25 vs. TCU - Oregon State University Athletics

It’s still here.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Why do people always talk about Ohio as it's a dangerous city?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What made you recently say to yourself, “Wait. Really?”

You are like me, then.

And the sadness?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

How do I complain on a boy coming to marriage with me without my involvement despite no connection with him though he had an illegal affair?

Be who you already are.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What should I be looking for when trying out running shoes? Local store lets me try the shoe and jog up and down the block, but they mostly feel the same to me. Is there some feeling or anything else specific I should be looking for?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Boulder attack updates: Multiple people injured in 'act of terror,' FBI says - ABC News

The sadness was still there.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.